Enough is Enough

IMG_0795Hi!

I haven’t been here for a while, and I’m not sure if I am truly back. But, I am here today with my one little word for the year.

 ENOUGH

A friend said to me that a word like ENOUGH would invite the universe to fulfill the word, good or bad.

I’m not sure I believed her.

 

I do now.

I’ve had enough and need a change.

At some point, we all reach this stage. In my daily work, I call this the full belly syndrome. You will recognize this from Thanksgiving dinner where that next bite into your full belly would be catastrophic leaving you few options. In my family, this would mean it’s time for a nap or a game at least until it is time for desert.

In daily life, the full belly syndrome is time for a change or a rest, just like after Thanksgiving dinner.

Making changes means different things to different people. For some, that means ending a job or a relationship. Changes can be big or small. Reaching this point may simply mean you need a break.

At this moment, taking a break means that I have run away from my day job – at least for a bit. Unfortunately, I’m not sure if it is that easy but I am attempting a staycation. The unfortunate part of this is that I have goals for my break.

Who does this?

Apparently, I do.

Mostly my break will consist of writing, both here on my blog and on my novel (formerly a novella – which appears to have metastasized). Other goals include spending time with my grand babies and organization around my house. And, if there is time, to begin making the gardens ready for planting, which won’t happen for several weeks.

This staycation is a welcome rest from the thoughts and emotions that have consumed me for the past year or more.

At least, I hope it will be a time of rest and relaxation.

Wish me luck!

The Full Belly Syndrome

IMG_0795In my line of work people often don’t come in until they full of whatever angst life has thrown at them. Since I work with sexual assault victims, this can mean that they have been dealing with this life changing event for a while, and they cannot contain it any longer.

They have had enough.

Enough of feeling bad.

Enough of feeling guilty.

Enough of it all.

I have discovered that I can empathize with this right now in my life.

Enough is the word I chose for my year. When I chose this, I thought I understood what this would mean for me. Apparently I was wrong.

For the past four months, my life has spiraled into chaos. This chaos that I cannot control, which is probably the definition of chaos, culminating in my brother’s passing has overtaken everything. I am full.

The feelings that have been overwhelming me are now at a breaking point. I have had enough.

I have a full belly of all these feelings and darkness. It’s time for a change.

I’m not sure what that means for me but to just recognize that I’ve had enough is a big step.

Having had enough, I realize it is time for healing. As someone who deals with healing others heal, this should be easy.

Right.

At this moment, I am just like anyone else who has had bad things happen to them. All of my education, training and experience get me exactly nowhere.

I have to remember what I tell the people I work with:

Be gentle with yourself.

Take baby steps.

Do the next thing. If that is making lunch or changing the baby, that is what you do.

Take care of yourself. Go to sleep or find a place to rest, eat something that isn’t too unhealthy for you and stop putting pressure on yourself to be normal.

Get outside. Sunshine is a natural antidepressant and can help you feel better along with the sunshine.

Breathe. In yoga, it is taught that 18 full body breaths are cleansing. We often don’t take deep breaths. Stopping every so often to breathe deeply is part of the healing process.

I have to remind myself that healing happens in its own time. Healing can and will happen, and I just need to be patient.

Unfortunately, I’m not very patient and am quite hard on myself.

I didn’t ask for this, but I am responsible for taking care of myself. I am responsible for my healing.

Asking for help is often a good idea, but this is my work, my life. I have to do the action steps.

Even if the action step is to take a nap.

The full belly syndrome is a catalyst for healing.

I’ve had enough. It’s time to breathe and heal.

My One Little Word for 2016

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A friend discovered this concept a couple of years ago and I fell in love with the idea. I’ve chosen a word each year since. Choosing a word for the year, for me, is an alternative to resolutions.

 

The idea is to choose a word that reflects how you would like your year to be. There are so many to choose from. Here is a partial list I got from One Word 365:

Confidence
Thrive
Reduce
Listen
Mindfulness
Believe
Finish
Peace
Love
Truth
Adapt
Unstoppable
Breathe

The possibilities are endless.

Last year my word was Balance and if you’ve read any of my posts, then you’ve seen some of my struggles. Finding balance in life is difficult, yet I’ve grown through the process.

There appears to be a movement surrounding the idea of choosing a yearly word to focus on. I’ve found a couple of sites that I’ve used in my journey.

One is One Little Word by Ali Edwards. She encourages you to focus on, meditate and reflect upon your word and she has created a few ways to help you. There is a group on her site that is supportive as you learn about yourself using your word. She also has monthly creative subscription and classes for exploration. Check it out.

Another site that I found this year is One Word 365. This site is all about community and encouragement. One way for each person to work with their word is to create a vision board. As this is something I do with my clients, I am interested in storyboarding my word.

I’ve never done the creative stuff with my word, at least not in this way. I have, however, created jewelry to help remind me of my word. This was my first word and I wore it as a bracelet.

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The interesting thing I’ve found with choosing a single word to frame my year is that life tends to show me where I need to work. This is a good thing since I tend to stagnate if I don’t have some encouragement.

The cool thing is that the words I’ve chosen for the past couple of years haven’t left me. I feel as if this has a cumulative effect. It seems the growing never stops.

This year my word is Enough. I have begun exploring this word and how it relates to my life, hopefully, I can share some of this journey with you.

So, here is the challenge: Choose a word that reflects a place you want to go in your life and spend some time journaling about it.