Recently, the five year anniversary of this blog came and went. I meant to celebrate it but somehow things got a little crazy in my life. Which has become the norm I think. I want to believe that things will settle down but I’m not even sure what that means.
Back to the anniversary, it was 5 years ago on February 13th when I published my first blog post. I remember feeling sick to my stomach as I clicked on the publish button. I’d been taking a class on blogging and I thought I was ready.
In retrospect, I’m not sure I was.
I had big plans for my blog then. I was publishing about 3 times a week and doing well. I was even planning things out. But, as usual, life got in the way.
As I look back on the past five years, I can barely fathom how much things have changed in my life. Things that I took for granted. Things that I never expected to change.
I lost my brother just over three years ago. I’ve discovered how much this leaves a hole in a person’s life. Grief is a strange thing and I find that it hits me at weird times, sometimes unexpectedly and sometimes not. Several of my posts that year were about the feelings of grief and loss.
For nearly all of my professional life, I worked at one place. A place I truly believed in with a cause I still believe in. But in the months after I first pushed publish, the place I’d come to know as a second home things changed dramatically. I struggled to wade through the many changes that happened and continue to happen, all the while remembering what it had been like earlier in my career. I kept blogging even though sometimes that life crept into my writing.
Changes continued to happen until change itself became unbearable. I’ve hinted at my own healing journey and someday I will share that story with you. But in order to move forward, I had to leave some things behind.
I’ve learned many lessons over the last five years. At times I’ve done well with sharing my life with my readers, and at others, not so much. I’ve promised changes on my blog and sometimes even delivered them. And in a lot of ways, I’ve failed both my readers and myself.
One of the biggest things I’ve learned is to simply not give up. Even when things are quiet and my muse is in the background waiting for her invitation, this blog has been on my mind. I have so many thoughts and ideas that I want to share and would be helpful. But all of the turmoil in the past several years had made that difficult.
I’m not offering any promises for the next five years. I know that things can and will change on my blog and with my writing life. Some of these things I will share with you, I guess that is one promise I will give. Sharing the stories of my life in the hope that someone will find hope in their words.
Thank you for coming on this journey with me.
Until next time,