Sundry Posts

Unexpected Connections


I had a unexpected connection today. An old roommate, whom I haven’t spoken to in over 25 years, tracked me down at my place of work. Apparently, this is a very small world and relatively easy to find people, if said person is addicted to social media (we won’t name names).

I believe that I was at her wedding in 1990 and outside of a weekend visit after that, we’ve had no contact. We lived together for several months and spent about a year staying connected. Then life got busy for the both of us and we drifted apart.

This picture was taken during the latter part of her wedding. I don’t remember what the drink was but it looks like I had a lot of it. I do vaguely remember having lots of fun. Ah, the memories. Or not.

Scan 5Learning about other peoples lives is fun for me but I learned something about myself. Once we understood that we’d both been married twice with no children, and that we each have a lot of years at our employment, there was little else to talk about. I realized that I don’t know how to make small talk very well.

Being a bit of an introvert makes small talk nearly painful for me. After I get to know someone, I have few problems with conversation but that initial interaction is awful. In fact, as long as I stay within my comfort circle, I show few signs of being an introvert. And I have learned a lot about how to be social over the years. Sometimes, I simply choose not to.

This talk about being an introvert can be a bit unbelievable when I have this blog that I post three times each week. But in my defense, writing a blog post is easier than having a conversation. Pushing a button to schedule a post is easy. And unless I get some comments, which I appreciate by the way, there is little in the way of conversation. This part is easy.

Face to face is more difficult for me, which again is funny because I talk to people, strangers for the most part, as a way to make a living. I can’t explain this difficulty, though it is real.

On the other hand, I guess I can accept that my friend and I didn’t have much in common then and even less now, which makes finding topics to talk about difficult to find. It is what it is.

I wonder what my life would have been like if I had made different choices at that moment. I’m not sure I’d change a thing. Well, maybe one or two but there are few regrets.

If you could, who would you like to be in touch with, regardless of how long it has been?


  • Mom

    I think the” introvert” in you comes from the fact that you DO talk to people all day long…it’s your job! I know I now hate too talk on the phone, I had to talk on the phone all day long…Grandma is the same way! Apple doesn’t fall far from the tree!

  • Jacque Burke

    Hmmm… There are a small few people I wish I had tried harder to hold on to. People that meant a lot to me in High School that I lost touch with but still dream about often. One guy, a good friend, I would have dreams that he was dying or dead. I hadn’t seen him in at least 15 years and I called up his mother to make sure he was ok. I must have sounded like a loon. I ended up talking to him and he was fine. I didn’t feel like I was talking to a 30 something man but a 17 year old boy. People cease to age for me – they tend to stay the same age in my head.
    And I’ve been blathering on but it is an interesting topic and I think I’ll blog about it and link over to you.

  • Julie

    It is a bit unnerving to think about this. I have several people who come to mind. Good memories. I do not want to imagine how sad it might be to ruin those memories with a mismatched conversation. One or two would surely be good conversations because our friendships were not based on our busy lives…rather they were based on our shared thoughts and beliefs which I know can change, but were so much a core part of us that they probably didn’t.
    HOWEVER, I am wise enough to know that we cannot go back. I am mostly content to love the people and memories. I am busy living and making memories with my today people…and I am glad you are one.

  • Brenda

    Hey Angie, sorry our conversation wasn’t a great experience. If, in any way you would like to try to connect again just send me an e-mail, if not I understand. I have lots of memories from way back then and have thought about you over the years. Sometimes my curiosity just gets the better of me! Take care…

    • AC Hoekwater

      I apologize if I offended you. That was not my intention. I was mostly referring to my own struggles in making conversation itself not in our conversation. Again I apologize for my words.

  • Brenda

    You have not offended me at all, I was just hoping that after all this time it would be so great to catch up on what has happened through the course of our lives. After talking to you I realized how parts of our lives are similar yet so different, I think that is kind of awesome! Anyway if it is easier to converse this way that would be great! I will send you my e-mail address via text message and you can take it from there. 🙂 Take Care!